Doctor Who: invasion of the mummy-blogger

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We got round to watching this week’s Doctor Who on Sunday evening. After a hectic, but fun family Sunday with old friends, which entailed stopping toddlers from fighting and trying to make them eat, we settled in for an iPlayer moment and a hot chocolate. (It’s just so rock and roll in our household!).  I was trying not to keeping thinking about morethanamumblog and just to relax and enjoy sitting on the sofa with the long-suffering husband, but even Doctor Who conspired to trigger the mummy blogger in me and I had to run and get my new notepad (more of that in a later blog!) and make few notes.

If anyone else saw the episode you are likely to realise that it was pretty early on when the inspiration struck.  If you’re not a Who fan, then just a brief outline.  James Cordon helps the Doctor save the world, but despite his apparently poor parenting skills at the beginning, it is his love (the Doctor explains it in a much more scientific manner at the end, but resorts back to love for us mere humans to understand) for his son which saves the day.

The sight of James Cordon, surrounded by mess, desperately trying to persuade everyone that he was “coping” made me remember those first few days, weeks, months with a new baby. “You read all the books and they tell you you’ll know what to do, it’ll be fine if you follow your instincts.  I have no instincts.” Says Cordon, looking unkempt and at the end of his tether. Brilliant; it must have been written by a parent.  No matter how much of an earth mother (or father) you may be, we all have those days.  Those days when we wish we were like the Doctor and could speak baby, but know full well that we can’t.  Those days when it feels like you know nothing about parenting, and if the baby could talk it wouldn’t tell you what it needed but that you are a crummy parent. But, take heart; we do all have those days!

One thing I used to do early on, and still do sometimes, was Google the issue.  Often it wasn’t finding a solution that made me feel better. One thing I’ve learnt about parenting over the last 30 months (not long, but long enough!) is that there rarely is one easy solution. No matter what parenting manuals promise, every baby is different; every parent is different; every family is different.  Some things work for some people.  If they don’t work for you, you can bet your bottom dollar that’s not because you’re any different to a massive chunk of the population, it’s just because parenting doesn’t come in a one-size-fits all mould.   Although I may have Googled to try and find the solution to various problems and even tried many of the ideas which were sold as the cure, it was finding out that I wasn’t the only Mummy struggling with a particular issue that made me feel better; realising that I was no different to many other Mums and Dads; all of us just muddling along.

So, my advice if you’re worried about something is Google it, by all means, but when it’s really getting to you, take a leaf from the Doctor: put your finger to your lips and ‘shhh’ all thoughts of yourself as a bad parent from your head.  We all get it wrong some of the time, but (cue cheesy comment – sick bags ready) it is the fact that you love your child that it will all come out in the wash.  Oh, and sometimes it is easier once they learn to talk.  At least then they can tell you what’s wrong…even if you do still have to tell them it’s not allowed!

R

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9 thoughts on “Doctor Who: invasion of the mummy-blogger

    The Mad House said:
    September 26, 2011 at 5:01 am

    I loved this weeks Dr Who, yep, we all need to take leaf out of the Dr’s book

      morethanamummy responded:
      September 26, 2011 at 7:21 am

      Though perhaps we should stick to saving our sanity rather than the world!

    Emily Leary (@AMummyToo) said:
    September 26, 2011 at 7:57 am

    I wasn’t all that keen on this week’s Doctor Who – not because I didn’t like the storyline, I just prefer it a bit darker and scarier. I do agree there was a nice message that it’s ok not to know everything, and the ‘saved by love’ ending was very sweet, but I don’t know if that’s the message most dads will have taken. I worry that men are constantly given the message that all mums know exactly what they’re doing, while dads are totally useless. And that can be a self-fulfilling prophecy for men who don’t Google, or ask someone, because they just assume it’s going wrong because they’re ‘not mum’. What do you think?

      morethanamummy responded:
      September 26, 2011 at 8:04 am

      A very interesting perspective. You may be right, there are a lot of messages out there that “Mummy knows best” and may be that does conspire to keep mothers in the caring and parenting role whilst Dad has an excuse. I would say, however, that perhaps we are somewhat to blame for this. I don’t think that the construction of the woman who didn’t expect her husband to cope (Cordon’s wife) was too far from the truth – at least not for me if I’m honest. A lot of Mums find it hard to hand over the reins, even to Dad, in the early stages… do we sometimes make a rod for our own backs? He did survive though and he did get help, so maybe there is hope?!

      Thanks for making me think – nothing better than an intellectual debate about Doctor Who!

      P.S. I also prefer the darker ones!

        Emily Leary (@AMummyToo) said:
        September 26, 2011 at 8:42 pm

        Yes, I think we are all a bit guilty of assuming ‘mum knows best’. That said, I would – and do – trust my hub to cope without hesitation, but he is exceptionally good with children of all ages, so I know I’m lucky. 🙂

    Reluctant Housedad said:
    September 26, 2011 at 10:47 am

    I am going to get shot in the face for this, but I don’t think a mother’s instinct is any better than a father’s instinct. I used to do, when I was working, but now I’m the fill-time carer, I think it’s the person who spends the most time with the children that learns the most about them, and therefore, develops a knack for how to motivate them, soothe them etc etc.
    I haven’t seen Dr Who for years, and I’m afraid the fact you mentioned ‘James Corden’ means I won’t be seeing it for years to come.
    Anyway, the message of your post is: trust your instincts. Parents get stuff wrong, but actually, that means getting stuff right, because kids don’t come with manuals. There are no right or wrong answers: just your own answers. I trust my own instinct 100 per cent.

      morethanamummy responded:
      September 26, 2011 at 1:29 pm

      Briliant to hear a Dad’s perspective. I’m glad that you do feel that there is such a thing as Dad’s intuition as well as Mum’s. I’d agree with it being the person who spends the most time with the child often having the best idea about what they might want/need. If it weren’t for this then how would there be such good step, foster and adoptive parents out there (male and female)? Knowing a couple of other stay-at-home Dads, I realise that this role in itself comes with a lot of baggage and other people’s preconceptions of the type of person you must be. I’m glad you’ve got to the point where you trust your instincts 100% – not sure I’m quite there yet! R

    minibreakmummy said:
    December 1, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Very interesting post – love the idea of an invasion of a mummy blogger. (Sorry for the delay in commenting, I’ve only just found your blog)

    I’ve loved Doctor Who ever since Sarah Jane Smith was companion to Tom Baker!

    I enjoyed this particular episode, even though there were some extremely daft bits, and even though it pandered to the stereotype of the inept dad who struggles when left in charge of the baby. (The script was written by Gareth Roberts, who isn’t a parent, but says he has observed friends who are parents)

    In my case, I’m a working mother who is married to a great dad taking a career break to look after our son. So I’m the one who is a bit unsure as to what to do when I’m left in charge!

      morethanamummy responded:
      December 1, 2011 at 10:58 am

      Glad to have you aboard and thanks for your comments. 🙂

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